North Coast Family Foundation is an out-patient mental health practice that has counselors and psychologists who provide psychological and counseling services to all who seek our services.
However, many who desire to utilize and honor their faith choose our services due to our training and experience in the field of Christian counseling, a specialty recognized by many insurance companies. NCFF never imposes Christianity on its clients but is willing to integrate faith into treatment with those who express a desire to involve their belief in God.
So what is Christian counseling? While many effective treatment approaches have principles based on Eastern religions, atheist beliefs or other religious or philosophical systems, our approach utilizes and respects a Christian world view.
Though NCFF counselors value and employ treatments from many schools of thought, our Christian counselors recognize that God is actively involved in our counselee’s lives. Our belief is that “You Don’t Have to Journey Alone”. God works with people who are in emotional, psychological, and spiritual pain. He is involved through his Word, his people, and his Spirit. NCFF counselors have years of in-depth training so that faith is effectively and appropriately utilized in the counseling process.
Do you have any real life stories of people who are thriving in a difficult marriage, with real life examples of specifics as to how they are doing it? For example, from your book, how does the wife that is cowering in the corner, then her husband wants sex and goes on his merry way, cope, much less thrive? At the end of the book with Patty and Dave, what kind of boundaries did she put in place? It says “she wouldn’t fight with him”. What did she do? How did she respond to his rage and accusations? I need practical examples of words and behaviors that come from a right heart in dealing with destructive behaviors, after a person accepts their destructive spouse is not going to change and has communicated their acceptance to the spouse. There are many examples of difficult /destructive scenarios. I want examples of thriving responses to those scenarios. Thank you for listening to my thoughts.
Hi,
I am learning to thrive in a difficult marriage. (notice I said learning!)……It’s not been an easy process for me and sometimes I find myself resorting back to old coping mechanisms.(such as withdrawing) For me, gaining a sense of self worth is helping me set boundaries and not be so afraid to respond to my husband when he is being difficult. Learning to like myself and believe in myself is opening new doors for me because I am trying new things, making friends and in the process learning to break the co dependency I’ve struggled with for so long. So, responses to difficult scenarios?…..I can share some that I have used. When he is yelling at me I am learning to say things such as ,”I will not allow myself to be yelled at. If you can talk to me about this without attacking me, I’m willing to talk.” Sometimes he will insist on sex in ways that I feel uncomfortable with and I have told him it is my body and I have a right to say no. My husband often gets depressed and blames me for his depression and I have learned to tell him that I refuse to accept responsibility for his depression and that his depression is his responsibility to work through. Even finding the freedom to say things to him such as, “I don’t want to discuss this now” is a huge deal to me. He often will tell me I make his life difficult and in a case like that I ask him for examples of how I am making his life difficult. Usually he cant give any and then I will tell him I do not want him to make statements like that to me unless he can back them up with examples. I have learned thriving does not mean trouble free, but that I am free from his control, therefore I am able to grow and flourish even in my painful surroundings. If you are not currently doing so I would suggest you consider talking to one of the counselors here at North Coast. I currently see one here and he has helped me learn how to respond to controlling behavior and even more than that, he has not judged me but has patiently helped me and worked with me for several years through several issues. Remember……you are valuable……God says so. Your worth does not come from what your husband says about you but from what God says and how He sees you. Hang in there. I wish you the best of luck.