-by Natalie Varrone-
One of the few weather perks of living in Cleveland, Ohio is our changing of the seasons. Most of us love the variety of having four different types of weather throughout the year. I am grateful for the weather seasons we experience for they also mirror the changing seasons of life. Life is full of ups and downs, twists and turns. There are good times and bad. One of the few constants in life is change.
Seasons are inevitable. Life has a flow that moves in waves and rhythms. I believe life is meant to be this way, as it is depicted everywhere. We see it throughout nature, animal life, stories in the Bible, history, and everyday experiences. The waves of busyness and slowness, health and sickness, need and abundance, loneliness and connection, and happiness and suffering. It is amazing how quickly it can change and without warning.
In counseling, I am a big advocate of having realistic expectations in whatever season one is facing in life. I’ve found that much of what forms our expectations in specific situations comes from our broader expectations of life in general. If we have expectations that are too high, we will experience ongoing frustration and disappointment. If we have expectations that are too low, we will settle and keep ourselves from a joy that is within our reach. Do you expect that you will experience life in a linear pattern? Or do you expect it to constantly repeat itself as in a loop that you’ll never break out of? Or maybe like a mountain that gets harder and harder to climb; or perhaps the opposite, like a slide that should get easier and easier as it goes on? I would say that life is really like none of those pictures, but is like a wave. Sometimes the ups and downs are small and sometimes they’re large, but they will always change again.
We often cannot determine which wave we’re on, but we need to learn to ride and master whichever temporary low or high we’re in. Surfers cannot control the waves; they simply navigate them. They don’t complain when the waves move because they know they need both to be able to surf. The ocean is a natural part of their life. They expect the waves. Surfers only get mad if they don’t know how to ride the waves. Hope Darst sings a song called “Peace Be Still,” describing a similar sentiment. She sings, “I don’t want to be afraid every time I face the waves…“I’m not gonna be afraid ’cause these waves are only waves.” Wouldn’t it be nice not to react so fearfully every time something goes wrong in life? That’s a steadfastness I want, not to be so emotionally reactive to every trial I face. The waves are only waves.
Expect the detours in life. Do you assume that you’ll encounter them or are you outraged when life dares to throw you a curve ball? Don’t be surprised when it happens, as God is not. He says, “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1Peter 1:4). In this life, you will experience the many fallen aspects of the world, including death, illness, pain, natural disasters, and manmade things gone wrong. You will sin and the people in your life will sin against you, intentionally or unintentionally. Mentally and emotionally, you will cope better if you’re not shocked and don’t respond with righteous indignation. You’re still on earth, and until you enter heaven, these things will happen to you and in your life. It’s important to have realistic expectations.
Do you expect never to be hurt by your family? Unrealistic. Do you expect smooth sailing in your career? Impractical. Do you expect your health and body to be invincible? Inaccurate. If you are someone living in much frustration and disappointment, I would encourage you to look at your expectations. Do you accept the fallenness of this world and the people around you? Or do you act surprised “as though something strange was happening to you?” All of life will be a mix of blessings and trials. Align your expectations with what the Bible describes and learn to ride the waves.
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