I am frequently asked the question, “why”? Why did God allow me to suffer? Why did God save me from the consequences of the mess I made? After trying to help a client make sense of a recent loss, I recalled a time when I agonized over how to understand a loss experienced by a godly, caring mother.
My daughter, Olivia, had come home to attend Emmy, her younger sister’s, high school graduation. After the weekend, she left for her home on Monday morning. On Monday night, around 9:30 pm, I received a call from Olivia. She had driven back to Charleston with Jack, her dog. When she was just a few miles from home, she hit a wet patch of highway, hydroplaned, and went down an embankment, totaling her car. She was slightly injured, but, miraculously-by God’s mercy-survived an accident where she easily could have lost her life. Her car landed nose up in about five feet of water. When she called, she was in shock, and I was so glad she had her comforting husband, Dan, to help her through it.
The next morning, my first appointment, 7 am, was with a grieving mother. (I have her permission to share this.) She told me the tragic story of how, a year ago, her daughter, 19, was loving her time in the Air Force when she caught a virus. She went into a coma for 36 days, came out of it for 30 days, went back into it, and died a month later. All the while her godly mother was at her bedside from morning until night, pleading with God while she watched her child battle for life, losing her vitality and strength, and then her life.
All the while she was talking I couldn’t help but think that I might have been in her place. I told my client about Olivia’s accident and what I was experiencing as I heard her story and saw her tears. She is a woman of deep understanding, and we both were aware of how we could have changed places. Her daughter could have been healed and mine could have had a tragic, painful death. We both knew that we were powerless to influence our daughters’ outcomes.
I was never more aware of how I am not the master of life. While I am so grateful that Olivia survived, I knew that she could easily have died. The decision is God’s. It is all God’s. As I get older I realize more fully that while I work hard to orchestrate my life, it is not ultimately within my power to control the most critical issues of my life. Romans 8:26-30 tells me that I don’t even know what I should ask for-God, the Holy Spirit within me cries out for me. It also says that God is the great orchestrator, bringing all things together for good for his children. I am not the composer or conductor-just one of the instruments he is crafting.
The year prior to the accident we had two births in our family. Both sets of parents are godly, loving people. Jayme Sue was given to Bryan and Wendy as a beautiful child with physical challenges while Sara was given to Matt and Heather as a beautiful child without the same set of challenges. Why? Why was one couple given the task of parenting and loving a child who would require specialized care while the other would have a child without such physical trials? I don’t think “why?” is the right question. I think the right question is “who?”.
I am grateful that Olivia is alive, but I believe God wants me to be even more grateful that He is the lover of her, my, and your soul, and that even if He had decided take her, He is good. Can I follow Him without conditions and without demands? Without insisting on understanding? Can you? We must. He is good. All the time.
Speak Your Mind